


Don't Rock the Boat

by ApothicArt



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, BoJack and Penny are both traumatized, But BoJack doesn't consent, Disassociation, F/M, I will also make BoJack bi, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Out of Body Experiences, Panic Attacks, Penny is 17, Penny is at the age of consent, Penny thinks she knows what she wants, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, because BoJack needs a little more comfort, because I ship him with Mr Peanutbutter, but she doesn't, if people want more I will write hurt/comfort, too many alcohol references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:53:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27911062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApothicArt/pseuds/ApothicArt
Summary: What if Penny's mom didn’t walk in on Penny and Bojack on the boat?BoJack is a terrible person who consistently crosses the line. He said no twice, but then he just… stopped saying no. Yet, he didn’t say yes either. No one will believe that he didn’t want it. He’s BoJack, after all, of course he’ll sleep with anything that moves. Or at least, that's what people think...AKA; BoJack is crumbling and Penny thinks she wants BoJack.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	Don't Rock the Boat

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a fic excusing BoJack’s awful actions. He was the adult and should have kept saying no, but the fact that he had to say no more than once and it still happened was not okay. Penny has some fault in this as well imo. I might get some hate for this, and I’ll be happy to respond as long as you’re respectful. Thanks!
> 
> Please read with caution.

“When was the last time you were actually… happy?”

“Go to bed, Penny.”

BoJack left her standing on the deck and walked into his boat, not caring enough to even shut the door. He plopped down on the bed, feeling more tired and old than he ever had before. And just hours ago he had felt like he was young again like he could do and be anything, the same person he had been when he first met Charlotte.

Shit, why did he have to kiss her?

You stupid fucking piece of shit. You worthless garbage pile of a person.

Everything was falling apart, and BoJack felt the emptiness in his chest creep outward into his inner self. Pieces of himself were breaking off and he scrambled to hold it together, trying to save what little he had left from sliding into the grand abyss. Because those few things were all he had left other than the pain of everything he had gone through over the years. All of the wounds and scars were a pile of garbage that refused to budge, while everything else lay on the precipice, destined to fall in.

His own voice became quiet in his head as other voices overwrought it. His mother, his father, Diane, Herb, Princess Carolyn, Todd… everyone who he had hurt. Some just laughed at him, while some wallowed in his pain. His mother taunted him and called him useless, while Diane and Princess Carolyn lectured. Herb stared at him, refusing to forgive him.

God, he was so fucking tired.

You can’t save anything or anyone. You thought you could be some sort of father to Sarah Lynn and you failed, like always. You naively, no, stupidly, thought that you could be better for Penny. You thought that in being a FATHER to Penny that Charlotte would fall in love with you and leave her amazing husband for a stupid piece of trash like you. How arrogant of you to think you deserve even a crumb of the happiness that they have. You destroy everything good. And you deserve to be destroyed too.

His vision became blurry as he forced himself to keep trying to swim to the surface as the cacophony of voices dragged him down.

Someone stepped into the doorway. A beautiful deer with freckles sprinkling her face.

“Charlotte?” BoJack called, sitting up and wiping his eyes, his voice tight. A feeling of hope rose in his chest, like a drowning man spotting a life preserver.

But he groaned when he saw the seventeen-year-old instead. He didn’t want to be around Penny right now, couldn’t take looking into her woeful, come-hither eyes. Yet, the feeling of hope didn’t go away. God, she did look so much like her mother.

“BoJack,” she said, closing the door behind her and walking toward him haltingly.

He had to scrounge up the energy it took to speak. “Penny. I told you to go to bed. You shouldn’t be here, I-“

“Shh, BoJack,” Penny said, putting a finger to his lips.

God, maybe this would help him. She wanted it, right? She planned this, didn’t drink the whole night so that she could do this, because she wanted it so much.

But he didn’t. He wanted Charlotte. He wanted to be happy, he wanted to not be in pain all the time.

You stupid, sick fuck. You feel hopeful that she’ll save you in some way. You’ve convinced yourself she wants it, that she planned it out just because you’re too stupid and prideful to know that nobody wants you. God, you’ve fallen to new levels of disgusting.

“I-I know-“ he wasn’t sure if he was addressing the voice in his head, or Penny.

She put a hand on his chest and his voice caught in his throat. He felt like her hand physically hurt him. His heart started to race faster than the Secretariat. But all of the air rushed out of the room and he couldn’t breathe. She ran her hand to his throat and started undoing his bowtie.

You’re going to sleep with Charlotte’s daughter too? You sick pedophile. First Sarah Lynn, and now Penny. You have a daughter fetish, is that it?

He reeled back, trying to get away, from his own thoughts and from Penny. His head rammed into the bed frame and his arms swung wide. “Agh!” Pain shot through his head as he heard a crash and something break. He saw the lamp from the bedside table, broken on the floor.

“Shh, shh, shh, quiet, quiet, quiet…” Penny soothed and stroked his nose, something people do to soothe a horse. He barely even registered that it was a tad racist and sank into the small comfort. He felt like his skin was burning and the small touches and gentle words were a salve. He was desperate for something other than pain.

You seek comfort which results in others getting hurt. You take happiness away from others. You are poison, BoJack, desperate for someone to consume you so you can feel whole. Well, you’re poisoning Penny right now because you’ve convinced her she wants it.

Penny started back on his bowtie, undoing it. He looked over at the door searching for some way out of this. He imagined someone opening it, Charlotte standing in the door, saving him from this. Stopping what he couldn’t seem to stop himself. She would be outraged, yell at him for letting Penny do this. But at least it would stop.

Please, no. Please, he just wants to be a good person, tell him he’s a good person…

You’re not. You’re letting this happen, making it happen. You lead her on. You made her do this. She’s just a kid, a little girl. You’re the adult here.

Then why did he feel like a kid?

He was in his dad’s office, staring at his shirt crumpled on the floor.

Penny moved his lifeless arms out of his shirt. Throwing it to the side, she ran her hands through the wiry hair on his chest, a playful smile on her lips, her eyes still hesitant.

She doesn’t know what she wants. If she knew the real you, she would be disgusted with you. You’re a fake, and you seduced her into this with your pretty little “father” act. You can’t stop this because you’re weak. You were fucking weak now and always will be.

Her hands strayed lower, feeling at the hairs under his belly button for a moment before straying to his belt.

A bolt of energy shot through him and he grabbed her wrist. “Please-“ was all he could manage. She looked at him with wide eyes before pressing her mouth firmly to his lips.

He tried to shake his head, but it felt like his head weighed a thousand pounds. How many times had he said no? Twice, then a third... He needed to keep telling her no. But he’s so tired. He slumped, letting Penny kiss him and whatever else his father wanted. His eyes felt so heavy...

God, he was just so fucking tired. Tired of fighting, tired of having to say no, tired of living, tired of being in pain... He just wanted it to stop… Maybe this would make it stop. Maybe Charlotte- no Penny- could make this pain go away…

When he opened his eyes, he saw himself on the bed below him, Sarah Lynn straddling him. No, not Sarah Lynn, Charlotte. Yes, beautiful Charlotte. No, that’s not right… Penny.

He blinked and he was back on the bed looking up at the ceiling, a flood of sensations forcing their way into his mind. The sour smell of sweat mixed with sweet perfume. The taste of strawberry lip gloss. The sound of wet skin smacking together. A soft heat around his length, up and down, back and forth, forcing pleasure through him. Hands on his chest, pinching and grabbing at him.

A hand in his mane that pulled. A rough smack to the side of his face as he fell to the ground. His mother yelled at him, but his father replied louder for her to shut up. The smell of scotch and the burn of it in his throat.

He blinked again and saw Charlotte’s round eyes looking down at him. “Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay,” she whispered. “Does this feel good, BoJack?” she asked, eyes filled with longing.

Yes, this is what he wanted. He wanted Charlotte, he wanted kids, a family, a life… He wanted to wake up every morning and see her face, count her freckles, and finally be happy. But as he stared into her eyes, they turned from longing to hesitancy and her face became Penny’s and her flirtatious pillow talk became a child’s try at being sexy.

He tried to open his mouth to tell her ‘no’ and also ‘yes’ and also ‘please stop’, but his mouth didn’t open. His mind couldn’t gather the words anyway. It was filled with vodka fog, drowning out the sound of his thoughts and the more he tried to swat it away the thicker it got. He tried to shake his head to communicate with her in some way. For a moment he thought that he had, he was shaking his head back and forth, hard. But then he opened his eyes and he was shaking his head against his father’s desk. The head pushed into the pillow on his boat didn’t budge.

Suddenly, he was yanked back into his body just long enough for everything to go tingly and numb. He grunted, his hands gripping the bedsheets under him as his hips bucked into the person above him and his whole body shook. His vision went white, an electric bolt of ecstasy shooting through him. It died down and he became painfully aware of his own skin, every fiber of the bedsheets, every millimeter of skin touching his. It was too much, it was far too much… He couldn’t handle it, he couldn’t do this!

He heard someone choke out a sob.

He pushed against the body on top of him, trying to push the sensations away, trying to make it all stop. Penny yelped and fell off the bed in a thump. BoJack bolted away, pressing his back to the corner of the room.

“What the fuck, BoJack!”

BoJack felt like he had vodka burning his throat and lungs as he struggled to breathe. “I-“

You’re such a Goddamn idiot, is what you are. You just raped an underaged girl, you pedophile.

No, no… she came on to him. He said no. He told her no and she-

Yeah, I bet that will play in court REALLY well. “50-year-old actor takes a 17-year-old girl to prom and then she forced him to rape her.” Don’t be even more of an idiot than you already are, you worthless bastard.

The immensity of the situation crashed down on him. He just raped Charlotte’s daughter.

He- he had to do something, he had to make this right!

“I- I’m so sorry,” he gasped out, rushing forward. He had to tell her, he had to make sure she knew he didn’t mean to. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t want- this was a mistake, I’m so sorry…” He was shaking her shoulders, staring into her wide eyes as he tried to make the void in his chest stop expanding faster and faster with every second after the terrible thing that he had done.

Penny was saying something, yelling something, but he couldn’t hear her. He wanted her to know how sorry he was, he didn’t mean for this to happen, how he was a terrible person. It was like all of the words he couldn’t say before were rushing out at the same time and he couldn’t stop them.

His cheek stung as he heard a loud smack. He looked up and saw Penny standing above him. He was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. He must have fallen …

“BoJack!”

“Wha-?"

“Snap out of it, BoJack,” she said, her voice strained with worry. “BoJack, listen to me!”

BoJack stared at her, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

“BoJack…” she sighed and looked away. “You were right. I don’t really know what I want. But I know now that… I didn’t want this.” She picked up her shoes and underwear and left, only stopping to give one last sad look at BoJack. “Goodbye… BoJack,” she said, then closed the door behind her.

BoJack Horsemen never cried in front of other people.

Good thing no one was there.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think, even if you just straight out hated it. I created this as more of an exploration of BoJack more than anything else, as well as a twist on what everyone thought of the situation. Everyone assumed it would be BoJack taking advantage, but Penny kept pushing. BoJack was already in a rough spot, having only been hanging on by a thread the three months in New Mexico, then everything came crashing down around him.
> 
> If you want more, please let me know! If people like it, I was thinking about following it up with some hurt/comfort following BoJack on his journey discovering that he was raped by Penny and the aftermath of that realization. Since it brings back memories that he's tried his damnedest to forget. BoJack thinks that to become a better person, he needs to make right what he's done to others. In reality, he first needs to make right what's been done to him, otherwise he'll continue to act out of that pain. It would probably be a Mr Peanutbutter and Bojack ship, both of them very bi, but mostly featuring BoJack's friends being there for him in his time of need. Let me know!


End file.
